Hi, everyone! How was your summer? I spent mine working on POPULAR SEXUALITY and then last week, my computer was so full, it crashed. Fortunately, I had hard copies.

After the Labor Day weekend, I thought I might take a break from POP.SEX and write this column. Before I go back to scraping my book off the pavement of technological treachery. Thank you for your letters, they have been many and wonderful. Very supportive too when Mr. FUNTONE e-mailed me everything I lost in the big computer crash!

There were visits from old friends: Michele Rhea Caplinger, Will Palin, Jeff Haas, Tony Boldt & the wild and always wonderful Jimmy Lalumia, how's the studio and recording going buddy? Jimmy and I did the Breast Cancer research show in Long Island. Great to hear from you guys and send me some news! Couldn't resist calling Jimmy and we had a great chat He is responsible for the links to Jayne County & Cherry Vanilla. Lalumia says he is doing a lot of writing, I should have asked him for which magazines, what can I tell you? I must have been having a blonde day! I'll find out and insert! He is a prodigious producer and remix genius. It seems to be a music and photographic producers month.

I am planning to go back into the recording studio over my birthday and rerecord THE WORLD IS CHANGING because MP3.com seem unable to carry the tune, maybe they are in litigation with Warlock and Adam Levy. MG (the boyfriend built for pleasure) is adamant about the track being reissued. I got my first management lecture, where I didn't get up and walk out! MG loves THE WORLD IS CHANGING.

There were many one liners: "Hey babe, how's it going?" Well shit Sherlock, tell me something good!!! How is it going? Better than I expected. And Tony how are you, buddy? Still playing? Whassup? Jeff, still designing web sites? Will and I traveled on tour and had lots of laughs, the only person apart from me who got up early. We would meet in the cafe of the hotel and eat large breakfasts together while all the rest of the kids slept, still they were exhausted playing shows. Not like Michele Rhea who tells me some news;

"hey girl...... I cannot believe someone copied me on this bettyjack - Angie page of yours .....How the hell are you my friend ? You disappeared so long ago ( without a trace, I might add ) and I often wonder where you are and HOW you are ? Please respond when you can , I love ya and wish you and Stash well ! Still fabulous on this end (my job, you know ...)kiss kiss, Michele"

Ms. Michelle is the super beautiful lady whose musical talent graced the bands ( insert which bands) in Atlanta were visual and lyrical works of art. Who can forget VELVET? Where Ms. Rhea and her exquisite husband Monsieur Caplinger lit up the city of ATLANTA.

Internationally, I was not able to make it to England for the Bisexuality Convention in Manchester and I will take this opportunity to say Hi to Laurence and all the people who helped him make that convention happen. Here is a link to their site: http://www.bi.org If you are visiting Europe this fall; be sure to look it up, take advantage of the events and fun that are linked through their vast library of resources.

Check out the new & larger website of Betty Jack Divine (bettyjack.com) which has a slew of fun things to look at including photographs of yours truly and Betty Jack, Peg, Mr. Funtone, Mikey, Dick what's our girl's name here? Boediceaia Thracia (sounds like the name of one of Lily Bounty's adversaries? I'm going to use that) the gang in Atlanta at the Metro from my visit this year.

Also found the official web sites for Cherry Vanilla and Jayne County so I will provide the links in this article! I'll have to find which piece of paper they are on! I guess we should answer some letters, yes?

Dear Angie: Hi, I saw your website and think it's fabulous! I would like to introduce myself: my name is Dan and I'm deaf. I'm an artist as well as a volunteer for the Deaf Entertainment Foundation & Guild. You can find my organization's home page at www.deo.org (currently the website's down due to technical problems but it should come back up and running by September). Do you happen to know Inette Schwam, an old dear friend of mine? She was the one who introduced me to David Bowie's music and other different kinds of music. As she knows sign language, she'd sign-interpret songs for me, when we were roommates at an apartment in Hollywood (way back in the '80s). She told me about her friendship with you...spoke of you in warm, glowing terms. Sometimes when I was riding with Inette, we'd drive up by your house up in the hills near Laurel Canyon (where the original Cat N Fiddler bar was), and I'd wait in the car while Inette rushes into your house and talk with you for a short time. Then she'd bring back that "English cigarette"! Heh heh...Ah these were the times! I remember one time she wanted to introduce me to you, but you were busy that day (which we were understandable - I don't blame you). If my memory serves me right, Inette used to house-clean your house and occasionally babysit your son, isn't that right? Anyway, I have not seen her for 15 years. I had moved out of LA in '86 shortly after the last time I saw her, to attend college in NY. Since then we lost touch with each other, and now that I'm back in California, I don't know where she is now. Would you happen to know her whereabouts? If you do, would you please inform her that I am back in LA? I would love very much to see her again! She is like a sister to me. I miss her and kept wondering about her...until finally I saw your home page! Thought maybe you'd help me? I would appreciate this. Thank you very much! Keep up...Sincerely,Dan McClintock

Hi Dan, Thanks so much for writing to me! I have not seen Inette since I left Los Angeles. It was my daughter, Stasha, that she used to babysit. Yes I remember that house in Laurel Canyon and the raccoons on the roof over my roof. I shared that house with my friend the writer: Jim Heinisch. That's where I was living when I was doing Krisis Kabaret @ the ACTORS CENTER in Los Angeles on Ventura Blvd. Haven't thought about that for a while, boy did we have a great cast for that show, the producer finally came to see the tech rehearsal and wouldn't let us open when he realized the content of the show dealt with drag queens and gay bars, there were 23 songs, and sketches. It was a great show! I still have the soundtrack that I recorded for the show.

Stardust Times/"Backstage Passes"

"Hi Angie, Just one little question. How do you feel now, when you think you've been one of the most women in the rock world. I'm 29ä.I had 2 years when Ziggy lived, you met everybody in the Rock Olympus, how do you feel now when you think about that? thank you, Raffaele"

Check out the interview I did with Mike Harvey Part 2 @ 5years.com. I answered that very same question for somebody else. I answered it with reference to the reissue of "Backstage Passes". (available at Amazon.com) Thank you for your e-mail and interest.

Dear Angela, Hi! My name is Elizabeth. I am 15 and come from England. I've got three reasons for mailing you really. The first is just to say that your lecture is really good. There's no one I could talk to where I live about stuff like that so the internet is a bit of a godsend really! I also wanted to tell you that I am a big admirer of yours and that what it says on your site - be yourself always - should be everybody's life motto. A lot of people at my school think I'm a real loser but reading your site made me think " Oh who cares what anyone else thinks about me as long as I'm happy!" I've just read your interview on 5 years com. It must be a real drag to have to answer questions about David all the time, if I was in your place I'd find it hard. One last thing (long e-mail huh?) I was just wondering if backstage passes is out again in the UK and when it's coming out. (I think the new cover is an improvement BTW!) Oh well that's it. Thank you for inspiring me! Love your biggest fan, Elizabeth

Dear Angie, first of all I really want to tell you that I like the interview you gave for Mike for his webpage "5.years.com" very much. Was a really good interview and the photos of you and your daughter are really amazing. I read the book "Free Spirit" a while ago. I was really impressed by your poesie. Are you planning books like that in the future again? How is your actor- carrier going? Any new plans for your music? I'm from Germany and have always been a big fan of David and you. I loved especially the 70s period, but have been too young to see a show of David. I just recently watched the Ziggy-film again, wow and you look still as cool now as there :-)! Tell me your secret :-)! I wish you good luck with your page and all the best, Bianca"

MOON GODDESS, my album is available HERE. On mp3, there is also a station called MOON RAVE with a personal selection of tracks I like. Backstage Passes has been re-released this month and is available on line at amazon.com or in your local bookstore. I will be doing a book signing 8.00 p.m. October 30th. at Borders (check store for details) in Tucson. Thank you for your good wishes Bianca and the same to you!

"Hi! I've been enjoying your site for a while now; I came across it because, well, I'm obsessed with your ex-husband David to be honest. :) Yes, I'm a hard-core Bowie fan...and I'm also bisexual! Anyway, I've been wanting to read "Backstage Passes" (and your other, earlier book, I forget the title?) for ages, but it seems to be out of print now. :( I read somewhere that it's going to be re-released, do you know exactly when? (And will you do a promotional book tour or anything? That would be so cool!) Well, I just wanted to compliment you on a brilliant site and wish you all the best! I have a website myself, at www.abbagirl.com, if you wanna check it out sometime (if you're on the web and all, that is). Ciao!"

"I was browsing and came across your web site. I have read your book Backstage Passes. I am not bisexual or gay but I have an open mind. Are you still in touch with ex-David? How old is Zowie now? I just wanted to say hi and acknowledge visiting your web site. Linda Miller".

Zowie/Joe/Duncan is 29, last May. He was born in 1971

"Dear Angie, I became interested in the Bowie thing after i saw a movie called Velvet Goldmine which seems to concern you a lot. What were your thoughts on the movie if you have seen it. By the way you look fab! Marina"

I discuss Velvet Goldmine in the second part of the Mike Harvey interview on 5years.com

"dear Angie, i was just reading thru your home page and found it very interesting i really admire you even though I don't know you but i think you are a strong and passionate person, i was just wondering what you thought of the movie Velvet Goldmine which is based on david and iggy?? i really loved that movie and i'm not sure how close it came to the truth? maybe you could tell? heee even if the movie was more make up than fact i really enjoyed it a lot and loved toni collette as *you* .... thank you for your courage and inspiration its very important to hear from people left behind on the other side of fame the( ex wives /exhusbands) not just the now really famous ones ...love tash"

"I had dinner with you in 1985, when i was in england with katy k and joey arias...i found you to be interesting and articulate. when velvet goldmine came out i was mostly interested in how toni colette handled your part. i stumbled on this while looking for material for women's studies class...i'm a tenured college professor in new york. very interesting and well handled. Thanks tanya indiana"

What a fun dinner that was too!

OMG... I don't know if you'll EVER get this e-mail, but just the concept of it is so cool! OK, lemme just start out saying that I am a 13-year-old fanatic of David Bowie. I love you and think you are sooo cool! I read you book (though daddy dearest wasn't too happy about it once he read it himself --lol) and thought it was great. I don't wanna bring up a subject that makes you feel uncomfortable or mad, so you don't have to answer this, but, how do you feel about Iman? My friend and I can't stand her. She is SO full of herself (I mean, have you ever seen her web-page??) and she acts like David is hers...all hers... no one can else can touch him... or even look at him for that manner. I mean, yeah, save the children, ok... that's good. I sent this mean e-mail to her once and she sent me something back like: "I loved hearing from you! Thanks for all your wonderful comments!" and all that crap. She must send the same e-mail to everyone! ugh... she assumes everyone loves her. Anyway, sorry. I haven't heard much about you for the last 6 or so years. How are you? My friends are in the process of making me think that I'm NOT David Bowie's wife, but oh well. I guess you've put your David years behind you? Do you still by his new CDs an' stuff? hm. well, it would be so totally awesome if you wrote back, so please do. Thank you so much. Love, Stardust (aka Tara)

"Hello dear Angie, Just wanna tell you ; I known you're not so "negative" that the "gnostic" david use to say !! Sorry about my english. Love Alain"

I'm lost. Scully to his Muldur?

"Angie, Congratulations on your website and on your honest and considered thoughts on bisexuality. Having listened to your interviews over the years and having read Backstage Passes it's refreshing to find someone who talks openly and from the heart in such a concise manner. I have just read your interview with Mike Harvey for the Ziggy Stardust Companion website, the interest in that album never stops and I think you were being rather modest about your contribution to that culture. Best of luck with all your future projects. Graham."

"I enjoyed reading your comments on this interview and your lack of bitterness shines through your comments and your post Bowie period of your life...One of my favorite Bowie period pieces that you were involved in was a Philly radio interview around 1974 where you talked about when Bowie did "Cygnet Committee" in the studio. No one else has been able to capture or describe that special song as well as you have. I am delighted to see that it will be included on the upcoming Bowie @ the BEEB collection. You never seemed to get the credit for your key contributions to Bowie's career. Glad to see fans such as my self value your contribution. Interesting that you settled in the Tucson area...I go there each Spring to see my beloved Chicago White Sox play spring training baseball...it is a very creative place."

"Angie! I saw Leee a couple weeks ago at a show for "The Star Spangles" A band fronted by a couple of twenty year old guys who are all into the garage rock sounds a la MC5. (Can't knock 'em for that) One of them, Tommy Volume, lives with Leee. I think he has for the past year or so. It was great to see Leee. Hadn't seen him in a while. Manitoba's was packed to the gills that night and I was glad to escort him to the bar comfortably and then to the front of the crowd so he could pass the drinks that he'd gotten for the band to them. Same Lee as always! I met him at the Max's Kansas City that was opened up in midtown a few years ago. It was a night some friends of mine were playing along with Jayne County. Leee had a showing of photographs up there at the time and he's friends with a friend of mine who introduced us to each other. Well I told you how I'm all into dress up and make-up and all. And you know Leee to, so I'm sure you can imagine that meeting. I remember him so well dressed with a black vest over a red silk shirt and some crazy bolo tie. That blond hair and his shining blue eyes... He was taking me around the balcony and showing me his works. The "Max's collage" and all. In particular I really remember him showing me one photo (hung in the boys room) of him and Iggy with their arms over each others shoulders. "I was so young then. And Iggy and I lived together out in Hollywood in a place on Mullholland Drive..." What a sweet guy. Of course he was flirting like mad, but not more than I could handle. I only see him every once in a while. So there you have that...Now as for ME...I've finally gotten this band together. The guitar player has been set for a while, but the bass player was just reeled in within the past couple weeks. She's a lovely Japanese woman. And very talented. Her name is Keiko. And we should have shows booked within a month or two. I'll be sure to let you know! The glam-rock party scene is getting pretty good here in NYC. Don Hill's has the Squeeze Box every other saturday. Glam 2000 every saturday under Lucky Cheng's. I saw Tony V. at Mother a couple weeks ago. There's no shortage of places for me to go all dressed up these days. And there seems to be a good handful of places for me to play. Le Bon Ton Roulette, Baby! Before I go, did I tell you how DAMN GOOD you look? Oh! And I just read "BackStage Passes." Thought it was a great read. I absolutely devoured it! Dear, dear Angie. Hope to hear from you again. And be assured that you'll always have an up to date performance itinerary on me as soon as the ball gets rolling. (right now it's teetering on the very edge for a Big-Bad Snowball comin' right atcha!) Lots of love, kisses, squeezes and rubs! Robbie Blender"

Mr. Funtone, shall we insert the Leee photo of Mick here?

Of course, darling!

Ronno by Leee Black Childers

Thanks so much for the report on Leee. I am including a photo Leee gave to me of Ronno, in the studio in his surfer boy shorts, straw hat and singing like an angel. Leee Black Childers is one of the great "be-there" photographers! As at home in a studio as in a gallery, dynamic in rehearsal room or during live performance plus he's a writer and journalist, so he sees LIFE magazine and National Geographic spreads. Leee really likes to get THE pictures, a whole story of pictures, images, a life-style. Damn, he's good! Anyway, what else was I going to tell you?

Why don't you send us a photograph of the band so I know to whom I am speaking? You know what I look like? I feel at a disadvantageäshe lowered her eyes and smiling sweetlyä..COME ON SEND US A PICTURE OF THE BAND! I don't even know it's name! I told you all about how wonderful Leee is, next time you see him, get him to take your picture! Now I want to know what the people I am sending to my friend look likeä.PICTUREä.PICTUREä..PICTUREäit rose to a crescendo and suddenly the singer walked forward and said, Is this a big enough picture for you? The Gown fell off and more than a few people gasped in admiration.

I am in a good mood today, Stasha called yesterday and had me laughing so hard. Young people have the best sense of humor. And I love your answering my question about glam nightlife in New York. Thank you. Looks like you've just been elected to deliver random reports on New York in a human about town role.

How was Tony Visconti? When you see him next, please send my love and to May. Who's he recording now? I swear that man is a genius and a natural born teacher. When I first spent time in the recording studio, it was with Tony and I watched and I learned and I listened. Those guys: Tony Visconti, David Bowie, Ken Scott and Gus Dugeon (sp.?) were so good to me and because of the patience and tolerance, I learned to produce.

What more incredible seminar could a 20 year old find to do but be in Swinging London in 1969? On the loose, freed up from college right in Wardor St. at Trident Studios recording with this crew, never mind the amazing musicians who were on Space Oddity, I loved sitting there listening, watching them work, observing, happy little writer and I wrote all the time, notes on what they were doing, how they were solving the problems, what I thought of the songs, lists, constantly writing.

Sometimes I would pass Tony the tools and hold the wooden cover for the equipment while Tony fixed whatever it was. He was a great engineer as well. Ken would come back in and say "Couldn't wait for the tech.?" Tony would look sheepish. He did the same at Haddon Hall. One day I was whining about the kitchen being a broom closet and there were no cabinets and no counter space and Tony just strapped on that tool belt, his dad was a master carpenter and built cabinets and shelves. David got me an an amazing 3-oven, 5-or-6-hot-plates, Carron Capri Gas Cooker. I really liked that and a freezer and a huge refrigerator and washing machines and dryers. I had no capitalist qualms as I was practically running a catering business in my own mind! Anyway it was great learning times. Learning to grow up and we were all very young. I'm amazed we survived!

Website Support

"Before i go any further, just had to tell you that you are captivating! wonderful site! Thanks"

"WOW Angela, What an informative Web site! You were one of the only "public" people that I could identify with as a teenage girl in the 70's. Not only are you a knock-out but a women that speaks her mind. People of all sorts need more role models like that. Canada can be a lonely place for anyone questioning the sexual orientation. I've seemed to come out in the wash alright. Thanks for the positive words. Being Bi is more than being trendy. P.S. You still look fantastic! Dean" Hope to see you on tour in Canada. We're plotting our moves as we speak!

"Dear Angie, Great article! Well written and interesting. Thank you, Dean"

Another Dean!?

"Hi there Angie, just dropped in to check out your site :) whilst perusing the web!....."it's great to finally find out more about you, than the usual stuff".....please, please, please, keep it updated.. love John & Wanda"

"Wow, are you THE real Angela Bowie? It would be sooo cool to talk to some one like you. You're awesome."

"Angie, What an interesting webpage you have! I was half- expecting to read more about the cool 70's hijinx that you and David had. However, I was pleasantly surprised to read your very personal essay on Bisexuality. You make some very interesting observations that I agree with but have seldom thought about. I think you and David gave social evolution a little nudge in the 70's. You knew who you were and didn't give a monkey's ass what people thought: I fully support that! ...And you LOOK GREAT! Take Care (great webpage!)-m""

"I think you are beautiful. I would love to hear from you sometime. I'm in a confusing time of my life----45 and 3rd. divorce. Male singerä.confused! Dave"

Confusionä.Relationships are confusing don't you think? When they are going well, you don't think about them and when they are upsetting, it feels as though the world has tumbled in on your head. Thank you for the compliment. My mother used to say "Pretty is as pretty does!"

Being confused is normal isn't it? Being certain is what's dangerous. Fascists are perfect in their own minds! A little uncertainty and confusion means you are still growing and evolving not some self-satisfied, smug know-it-all. Maybe the answer is not to strive for perfection. Why wait for death to be perfect? To heck with being perfect, let's settle for being cool, alive, interested in other people and productive. Think of me once when you sing a song, Dave!

"HELLO ANGIE, my name is PATRICK and i am from philadelphia the city of brotherly love i hope all is well with you i have been trying for several years to find out what you have been up to. But i could never find much info on you. Last time you were in Atlanta Georgia that was the last i heard now i understand you are in Tucson never been their but i here it is beautiful i have been a fan of you and david for many years since 1972 i still see david when he tours i have hit my 100th show in november in NYC 1999. i don't know if you remember since it has been so long ago when you played here in philadelphia at the kennel klub i still have photos of us backstage i will try and send you a copy when i can get my printer up and running. i do hope to here from you please keep in touch. LOVE YA PATRICK AND GOD BLESS"

Hey Patrick, nice to hear from you. Thank you for your kind words. Could you do me a favor? Tell me which clubs you go to. I would like to include Philadelphia in the tour.

Bisexuality

"I thought that its really cool how you said your thoughts and what has been going on in your life. hope all is going well for you. What made you come to the conclusion that you were bi? please write back and give me your input. thanks, tara"

The conclusion? When I kissed my friend at college or she kissed me. I liked it. So I thought but I like kissing men too. What's up with this? Why do I have to be one thing or the other, I don't know yet who or what I am? So I'll be bisexual and then whatever I do OR pursue will be cool. I tell all about this in "Backstage Passes".

"I've always found some women very sexy like i've always wanted to be with them other than friends like lovers does that mean i'm bi because i have a boyfriend of 2 and a half yrs and i love him dearly but i want more Milli"

I don't know Babe; sounds like you're just bored. Try dressing your boyfriend up as a girl if he likes that sort of thing and see if that gives you a rush! We humans do a lot of that "I want more stuff", don't we? As for calling yourself names like bi, don't buy into that crap! Who cares what term people give anything. Labels are so slave and factory-like as if you have to categorized so you're part of a demographic. I don't want to play that game. What do you care? Does it matter what label we carry? Does it make us any the less worthwhile? Does it mean that at any moment we couldn't change? Totally reverse our behavior and preferences?

Of course we could. That's why my dad stopped smoking every year for Lent. You prove to yourself that you are not a pawn. It's something else that humans do: categorize and select, what can I tell you? It is the nature of our species.

"You are amazing Angela. Not only is the world bisexual but also bipolar too!"

Are you being rude or cute or both? Thank you for taking the time to send an e mail.

"DEAR ANGELA, I JUST READ YOUR STATEMENTS AND FOUND IT TO BE VERY INTERESTING. I AM GLAD TO SEE YOU ARE SO OPEN ABOUT YOUR SEXUALITY. I READ YOUR ARTICLE, NOT BECAUSE I AM BI SEXUAL, BUT BECAUSE MY HUSBAND OF 12 YEARS IS. HE CAME CLEAN ABOUT A MONTH AGO AFTER I FOUND HIM LOOKING AT PORNO PICTURES OF GAY MEN ON THE NET. ABOUT 3 YEARS AGO, HE HAD AN AFFAIR WITH A YOUNG MAN. WHEN I WAS GOING TO LEAVE HIM BECAUSE OF IT, HE WENT CRAZY, SWEARING UP AND DOWN THAT HE REALLY LOVED ME AND DIDN'T WANT A DIVORCE. HE PROMISED NOT TO FOOL AROUND ANYMORE. AS FAR AS I KNOW, HE HAS NOT HAD ANYMORE LOVERS. HE ONCE TOLD A FRIEND OF OURS THAT HE DIDN'T VIEW A "ROMP" WITH A MAN AN AFFAIR. THIS REALLY BLEW MY MIND. AM I SO OLD-FASHIONED? IS THIS HOW A BI- SEXUAL PERSON JUSTIFIES HAVING SEX WITH A PERSON OF THEIR OWN GENDER? I AM NOT STUFFY OR RESERVED. I LOVE TRYING NEW THINGS WHEN IT COMES TO SEX. I EVEN HAVE SHARED MY FANTASIES WITH MY HUSBAND, HOPING HE WOULD FEEL FREE TO DO THE SAME. I HAVE FANTISIED ABOUT HAVING A BEAUTIFUL WOMEN, SUCH AS YOURSELF, PLEASURING ME WHILE MY HUSBAND IS MAKING LOVE TO ME. BUT, I DON'T FEEL THIS MAKES ME BI-SEXUAL. NOR, DOES THIS MEAN I WOULD EVER DREAM ABOUT MAKING IT A REALITY. MY VIEW ON BI-SEXUALITY IS THIS...IT IS A PERSON WHO IS ADDICTED TO SEX AND DOESN'T CARE WHERE THEY GET IT FROM. DO YOU BELIEVE IT IS POSSIBLE FOR SOMEONE TO BE IN A MARRIAGE, REMAIN FAITHFUL, AND BE BI-SEXUAL? I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR YOUR ANSWER. I WANT VERY MUCH TO STAY WITH MY HUSBAND. BUT, I DO NOT WANT TO SHARE HIM WITH OTHER MEN. BECAUSE OF THE AIDS VIRUS, IT MAKES ME VERY NERVOUS TO BE WITH HIM. I AM TRYING VERY HARD TO LEARN AS MUCH AS I CAN ABOUT BI-SEXUALITY SO I CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT HE IS ABOUT. HE HAS TOLD ME IT IS VERY HARD FOR HIM TO UNDERSTAND HIMSELF. MY SUCKY RESPONSE WAS "YA, SUCKS TO BE YOU" MEANING, A WOMAN, WILL ALWAYS WONDER IF YOU WOULD RATHER BE WITH A MAN, AND A MAN, WILL ALWAYS WONDER IF YOU WOULD RATHER BE WITH A WOMAN. I HAVE ASKED HIM OPENLY IF HE THOUGHT HE WOULD BE HAPPIER WITH A MAN. I WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY. IT IS NOT FAIR TO EITHER OF US IF HE IS LIVING A LIE. HIS RESPONSE WAS NO.APPARENTLY, HE IS ONLY INTERESTED IN ORAL SEX WITH A MAN. HE DOES NOT LIKE THE PENETRATION BIT. I AM SO CONFUSED BY THIS WHOLE ISSUE. PLEASE WRITE ME, I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU. SORRY MY LETTER WAS SO LONG......THANKS FOR YOUR TIME. SINCERELY, SUSAN"

Boy, what a conundrum! What to do? What to say? Let me go back and collect your questions I am confused, I need a moment!

I find 2 questions and 3 main points. Let's deal with the points first: "he didn't view a romp with a man as an affair", your fear as to the AIDS virus and I assume other STDS, "he is only interested in oral sex with a man". Time to make a list. Decide what you can live with, what's it worth to you, do you have children, mutually held property or are there redeeming features? Freedom from financial insecurity, companionship etc. Whatever is important to you. I am sorry you feel badly about it all? It helps if you had some doubts in your mind to begin with, but I am sure that's not the case if you have been together for 12 years!

Now your questions: "Am I so old-fashioned?" No, there's nothing old-fashioned about being surprised that your partner has a hobby that you know nothing about, it's like having a secret life.

"Do you believe it is possible for someone to be in a marriage and remain faithful and be bisexual?" No. If you're in a marriage, I prefer to call it a partnership as there is a contract involved, you have to play by the rules of the game and if you don't play by the rules of the game you have to keep tabs on who's doing what so that if you ever get caught you have plenty ammunition to shoot down any attempt to confiscate your contribution to the partnership. Am I making myself clear? Marriage is darned complicated, except for raising children I wouldn't advise it for any human who enjoys an easy life and a calm environment. I cannot fathom a repeat of an experiment I already tried and found personally and career-wise demoralizing. It did not work on the level of providing a solid structure for raising children and I was unhappy, jealous, neglected and incapable of making a decision about any of it because so many signals influenced my thought processes. What was the right thing to do? Did I care? Should I end the torment once and for all? Could I find solace in anesthetizing myself? Would some new sexual interest bring me back and satisfy my failed marriage? Multi partnered sex is for unattached people. If one has made a commitment to someone, the rules are changing! Disease is terminal, as bad as syphilis and gonorrhea before the invention of penicillin. I wouldn't take the chance, not now, life's too precious. I've got too much to do. You know what I mean? I am sure you feel the same way. It is not acceptable behavior.

"dear Angie, Hello, and how are you? I loved reading your lecture or whatever you call it on bisexuality. I'm 17 years old and am bi- curious. The whole gay bisexual scene is taboo in my family and I am a bit frightened to tell family members about my being bi- curious. I know they will just say i am confused and that I only think this way cos i was raped by a girl when i was eight years old. It has nothing to do with that. i am attracted to girls, but mostly guys. All of my closest friends know about this and are very supportive, I actually have three friends that are bisexual. You are a role model to me and you opened my eyes to a lot of things. I read your book Backstage Passes last year and i loved it. It was very informative and it was nice to actually read a book about David Bowie that told a lot about you. My questions maybe dumb but i would like to ask them anyway. How do you know if you are bisexual? What do you do when you are made fun of about the way you act, look and the way you choose to live your life? I am very shy, but i want to break out of my shell and set the world on fire with the true me and such, how do you think i could do that? You have a daughter right? i think i heard you do, how does she feel about your bisexuality? How is sex with a girl different than sex with a guy? I am a virgin and just am curious. Well hope to hear from you. Ta! Rachel"

Rachel, in answer to you question: "How do you know if you are bisexual? You don't, and you don't use labels. There is nothing more unattractive that a human being putting their label on the outside instead of displaying their brain and wit. You know immediately that they are so lacking in imagination that only by belonging to an established group do they feel justified to be who they think they are. Brains are the turn on. Intelligence and humor are the qualities which move us. Barbie doll bodies and physical perfection are vacuous phantoms of the human spirit when not enough attention is paid to filling up that brain storage space with fabulous knowledge. One of life's purposes is to figure life out, right? Sometimes you can't figure everything out all at once, so you leave it and move on to other things, come back to it later. Wait until you are head over heels in love and then inspect the object of your affection, you can be pleasantly surprised by what gender your adored is.

"I need help; I recently found or realized that I'm bisexual and I have only one girlfriend that is. My boyfriend is cool with the fact that how I found out my boyfriend had to tell me the really fact because I was afraid to tell him that I was attracted to Females, he said he has done research on the subject so he is trying to help me deal with this. But I really think it is more than being bi sexual it is that fact that I'm more Bi than anything I have gotten to a point where a Female turns me on more than a guy, and like I said I have only one female friend close by; there is one that boyfriend now in Wabash but we don't get up there enough for me to do what I need to do or want to do with her I live in the state of Indiana; I don't go out to meet new people, Is there any thing I can do to feel the void in my life with beside being with my boyfriend or my girlfriend All I now is I need both; And I want both at the same damn time or I take him one day and go to visit my girlfriend I real want to try this on her but not sure how to go about it she now that I'm bisexual HELP WHAT CAN I DO To help my self.....Karyn"

To be loyal, it's not fair to cheat on the person with whom you are intimate; that precludes multiple relationships. You have to make a choice: either be true to one lover or say nothing, live in a deceitful way and then be the villain when you are discovered.

"Angie I am 20 years old I have had one sexual relationship with a woman and ever since then I have erotic dreams about women. I have a boyfriend he is the best I love him so much but we are starting to have problems in our sex life. We have sex maybe two times a month. I have never had an orgasm with anyone, only when I masturbate. I need your opinion. Do you think its because I am more into women and I need to fulfill this fantasy again? The first time it happened we didn't have enough time to enjoy our selves I was 17. Ever since then it hasn't left my mind.c_"

Probably. Orgasm is a mysterious motivator. I am writing about it at the moment in Pop.Sex

"Angela, I think that what you wrote was great, and took guts. I might only be 15 years old, but at east 3 of my friends at school are bisexual. People always seem disgusted by this and they don't understand how I can be friends with them. I think that homophobia is just something people use to hide behind so to not be a social outcast. They feel that if they aren't offended by it then they will be an outcast. Even at 15, I am completely open about it and I don't mind. My friends have every right to be the way they are, and I don't feel that people treat me differently because I am someone who feels that they have all the right in the world to be who they want and are. I hold you in high esteem, and think what you did was a great idea. It really got the message out to people."

"Dear Angie, I'm glad I stumbled onto your site - I'm a 22-year- old girl who's just recently started having doubts about her sexuality... you know, I have always assumed I was heterosexual just because it's society's standard - everyone else is (or seems to be) so it wasn't something I thought about much. Until I fell in love with a girl (in a girl's college, like you!). Now that I'm exploring further I realize people always put labels on everything. You're either straight or gay. I don't think I'm either one or the other... because I also like men. But I'm already worried about explaining that to others. I always feel I have to justify my actions, and I worry about what other people think or say about me, while I know I shouldn't. I just hope the old- fashioned idea of bisexual people being promiscuous and 'easy' will go away SOON! I'd like to live my life not worrying about who I love or why. Thanks for your story, I'm glad you're out and proud, you are a good example for many people, including me. Love from Holland."

Check previous response re labels! I know what you mean.

"Dear Angie, I just stumbled upon your website and I think it's really insightful. I applaud you for being so open about your sexuality and I wish other celebrities would do the same. It is wonderful that you are educating people on a subject that really needs more attention. I believe that everybody is at least a little bit bisexual and the world would be a much happier place if people could just admit that to themselves."

"I loved your lecture!! I just came out as a Bisexual a little while ago, and since then I have had some problems with people who don't understand or think it is gross. I am 20 years old and still afraid of the rejection based on the person I decide to love! To me it doesn't matter what gender the person is. You love what's inside of them. I find it sad that a lot of people don't understand that. I was just writing to say that your lecture gave me hope and inspiration to not feel like I am the only one out there dealing with this. I just have to find other people that I can help and in turn i can help them also! Thank you Amanda"

"Dear Angie, Thank-u for taking the time to write such an informative, meaningful article. It is refreshing to read a bisexual article that is not shallow, hateful or corporate funded; rather, it is one that is relevant to all bisexuals that are trying to make a go of it in the world today. Being myself I have often felt isolated, not just based on my sexuality, but because of my natural refusal to conform to what has been deemed "unacceptable" where I live. After reading you article, I felt opened to a sensitivity that made me cry, but one I realized that was truth. Even though difficult and downright dangerous, the best things that have happened in my life have been becoming an actor and realizing that I was bisexual. I feel that it is this self-exploration that you expressed in your article and that I have found in my own life is necessary for spiritual vibrance and mental well- being. Unfortunately though, not many people can do this for many reasons. One reason, most importantly, is lack of opportunity and an explorative attitude. If I had not left public school for correspondence at age 14, I would have never have discovered my two spirits. I feel that, mainstream media can be used to anyone's sexual advantage, but it is also a damper for anything "abnormal". Now approaching my 16th birthday, I am guided by the love and acceptance of all those close to me and my own set of developed morals. Thank-u for writing, once again."

This young woman is gaspingly eloquent. I am "bouche bee"as we say in French. I wish I knew how to make the computer do French accents!

"I have had many problems in life because of who I am. Meaning my sexual identity. I love life, and I love living it. yet not the relationships I have had. It always ends up being; I have to give into some kind of conformity. I tried, feeling like an angel with no wings. I am so glad that I fond this site. I once again feel free. I am living with a set of twins. They are my youngest two, one boy and one girl. I hope to continue to raise them with that kind of freedom. To accept themselves for who they are. Thank-you for putting this on the web. Now I know what to say to a female lover that wants me to choose just her. Thank-You Another two spirit soul."

What are you going to say?

"I just read this and it was a real eye opener. it was great...i loved it. i'm 17 years old and its great that there is someone who can totally relate to how i feel and be sympathetic and understand...it's awesome. thank you for writing it. it's very assuring and inspiring. I only wish that there were more adults around like you."

Thank you so much for your interest and the time you took to reply and comment on www.angiebowie.com. I am so glad to have heard from you. Already my file for Part 2 is bulging and I will have that to Dick asap. End of part 1. In part 2, hear what my traveling companion had to say about our trip to Los Angeles together! He was gorgeous . . . from Big Sur.